2. New Years Goal
Another year has come and gone, and it's that time of year again to reevaluate, reprioritize and make new goals. I know a lot of people talk down to new years resolutions, but I think that they are fantastic! Any excuse to reevaluate and to reflect on yourself is reason enough to do it. Setting goals is never a bad thing. But, in saying that, I do feel like the typical, traditional way of sitting down and writing a list of goals to accomplish in the new year isn't exactly setting yourself up for success. I feel like that way of doing it is super overwhelming, and then you feel bad about yourself when you don't accomplish all of those goals.
So I wanna chat today about the way I like to make my new years goals. And it's a little bit different to the traditional way. Instead of creating a list or thinking about all the things I wanna change about myself at once, I choose one word of phrase and I focus on that one word or phrase throughout the entire year. So for example, in 2015 I focused on creative expression. But that doesn't mean that I was doing something every single day that was creative, that just means that when the opportunity came to try something creative, I gave myself permission to do it. Before my year of creative expression, I would have felt guilty to be spending time on things like trying out calligraphy or water color painting or spending time or money on our home decor. But for that year, I gave myself permission, I let myself focus on it. And was it an everyday thing? No, it definitely wasn't. But over that whole year, I feel like I discovered a lot about myself. Before that year I was really in a rut with my photography and my videography and I didn't know how to get out of it. So I decided to put my creative efforts in other places, and then I just found myself so inspired! And it really helped me to get out of that funk. I tried a lot of things. Some things stuck, some things didn't. But I had so much fun along the way! For 2016 my goal was a little bit different, a little bit more intense. I chose the word affection. And I really felt like this is going to be a challenge for me. Like, creative expression yeah, I had to put a little time into it, but that was just fun. Affection? That one was going to be hard. Previous to this year, any affection that wasn't to or from my husband, was very uncomfortable and awkward for me. I didn't know how to respond to it, I didn't know how to be affectionate towards other people. And I didn't want to be that way. I wanted to be the type of person that made the people I loved feel loved just by the way I act towards them and I treat them and I speak to them. And I honestly had no idea where to start. This one was so difficult! I spent at least 4 or 5 months just sitting on it and thinking about it. Just really having no clue. Sometime in the summer I was sitting down with my health coach Caitlin, she pointed out to me that I hesitate a lot. I don't make decisions and stick with them. I'll make a decision...I'll go over it, and over it, and over it in my head and then eventually I change my mind. Because I get too scared, too worried, I think too much about it, and essentially... I chicken out. So she challenged me simply, to notice when I'm hesitating. She didn't tell me to change it, or just do it, she told me just to notice when I'm doing that. And I really think that step was really crucial, because becoming self aware is the most important part! So I started noticing how much I hesitate, and oh.my.gosh. was it a lot. And then eventually, I gained the courage to send the text message, give the person a hug, tell the person I love them. It definitely took a lot of baby steps! It was really difficult, and I would sometimes have to send a text message and put my phone away scared that... I don't even know what I thought would happen. Just thinking, "Oh, maybe this persons going to think I'm annoying." Who knows what I thought. And from there I took little steps. When I felt like telling someone that I thought they looked great today, I did it. When I felt like telling someone that I appreciate having them in my life, I did it. If I felt like giving someone an extra hug, I did it. If I felt like telling someone I love them, I did it. And it was hard. And it was scary. But I did it, and I survived!
I definitely feel like I still have a long way to go with affection. But just seeing how much deeper my relationships are now. It really proves to me that, WOW, that was worth it. And that was a good one! And I will continue to work on this for years to come probably. What is your word for 2018? I would love it if you shared it with me. I think it's so important to focus on one thing, and really work that muscle! Make that weakness a strength! Maybe you wanna focus on organization this year, maybe you wanna work on self love. Let me know! I would love to know your ideas! I feel like the possibilities are endless!
I wish you guys so much love, joy and prosperity for this new year.
You are completely in charge of yourself and your life. You are in control. You are the driver of this ship!
Until next time, Tschüss mitenand!